What If Elon Musk Bought Montana?
The madman actually did it. Elon Musk bought Twitter and I'm astonished. I guess it never really occurred to me that someone could just buy a social-media behemoth like that. It makes me wonder what else could be for sale, like an entire state perhaps? Here's what I think would happen if Elon Musk bought Montana:
Tunnels All Day
If there's one thing I have in common with Elon Musk, it's our mutual appreciation for tunnels. Tunnels and anime, but we'll focus on the tunnels for now. Musk founded The Boring Company which "constructs safe, fast-to-dig, and low-cost transportation, utility, and freight tunnels," according to The Boring Company website. So if Musk bought Montana he'd probably shut down Amtrak and we'd all spend a lot more time underground.
Musk also founded Space X so he'd probably have Montana be the new headquarters for space travel. Montanans would see a lot more satellites flying around and we'd have a much higher chance of meeting an alien. If you're curious, here's an article about what might happen if Aliens invade Montana.
Brain Chips for Everyone
Yes, I'll reference yet another company Musk (co)founded, Neuralink. Their website says that they develop "ultra high bandwidth brain-machine interfaces to connect humans and computers." I won't pretend like I actually know what that means but maybe if Musk buys Montana I'll be able to play Fortnite without getting pizza grease all over my controller, which would be pretty awesome.
Elon Musk Will Make Anime Real
Don't ask me how it's possible, or if this even makes sense. But know one thing for sure, if Elon Musk buys Montana, everyone will be able to shoot laser beams from their palms, and we'll all live happily ever after. Actually no, but I hope this paragraph was as fun to read as it was to write.