What If Montana Towns Had Their Own Honest Mascots?
Every Montana town/city is known for something. Good or bad, these are listener-submitted suggestions for honest mascots of some notable Montana places.
Now before you read the list, I have to preface it by saying that I was born and raised in Montana, and have nothing but love for my state and people. I wanted to make sure that locals from these places also got their two cents in, so I hit up my Facebook and Instagram for their thoughts. Most suggestions were nothing short of hilarious, but I was really bummed to see how many negative ideas were thrown out too. Mostly the drug, housing crisis, crime, and homeless problems many Montana towns are facing. I wanted to keep the list fun and light so we won't be throwing those in. This list is intended to be all in good fun, so don't get your panties in a ruffle.
Here are proposed mascots for Montanan towns, submitted by people who live in or know Montana.
The Helena Geriatrics, The Helena Squares
The Missoula Stolen Bicycles, The Rent Monsters, Patty the Pabst Pounder, The Hamilton Karens (but let's face it, there are Karens everywhere in Montana), The Pinesdale Children of The Corn
The Bozeman Californians
Depressing Pungent Smelling Perry
Ya. I'm not doing one for Butte. You don't piss off people from Butte. #ButteAmerica
The Kalispell Lakers
The Whitefish Tourists
The Lincoln Jerky Strips
The Havre Metalheads
The Deer Lodge Prisoners
These are my favorite submissions thus far. I know there are a ton of others, especially for the smaller towns. If you have some fun suggestions, let's hear them. Remember keep it light and fun. We live in the best place on earth, even if some of it smells of sugar beats and Bengay.
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